Queen Cow I, Shagging Shakespeare and Crown Jewels

Rikki and Shakespeare

After finally arriving at the train station in Brussels, we had to pass through several security and passport checks to get to the waiting area. Our train wasn’t ready for boarding yet, so we spent the time just talking. Until… an elderly gentleman from England asked me which part from America I was from. Hm, ok, so I had known that I have an American accent but until then I hadn’t been aware that it was that bad. Of course, Lies nearly died laughing and couldn’t refrain from reminding me of that nice comment throughout the holidays.

The guy also was kind enough to remind us that he thought Piccadilly wasn’t a “nice place” to stay for us and to ask if we had anyone to “look after” us. I think this is everlasting proof that despite everything, we must look somewhat innocent.

When it was time to board the train, we even found the right compartment and our seats. Lies offered me some chewing gum, and soon we were both engaged in… a contest. Who can make larger bubblegum bubbles? I guess I won that one. *g*

Uhm, yeah, me winning the bubblegum contest *g*

You did. Ladies and gentlemen, she is truly a pro. Even her chin and nose participated in the bubblegum fun a few times. Luckily (or alas!) my camera-reflexes are slow. Woe!

About two and a half hours later we finally arrived in London at Waterloo Station. And of course we encountered the first problems. Apparently Londoners are really clever or they just have better maps. Anyway, we did have severe problems finding a bus in direction of Piccadilly Circus. But eventually we managed to find one which went to Covent Garden. Unfortunately it didn’t drop us of where I had expected it to, so we had to drag our suitcases from Aldwych to Piccadilly Circus. It’s actually quite a nice walk – without suitcases. But we were strong and arrived at the hotel, all sweaty but happy. After checking in we went to our room which was on the 2^nd floor. And very hot. Hm, I guess it had an average temperature of 26 to 28°C. Quite nice for a summer afternoon but definitely too hot for a room to sleep in. The window couldn’t be opened more than 6 inches which of course brought a nice Jean Brodie quote to our minds: “6 inches is perfectly adequate. More is vulgar.” Not that we would have minded to be vulgar but alas…

Finding a bathroom turned out to be the next problem. All the bathrooms for men had signs in the hallways but apparently female guests were supposed to find the bathrooms without any visual help. So we were zigzagging through the hotel for about 20 minutes before we finally succeeded.

I think it is my duty as “wild, unruly teenager” here to subtly mention that a bathroom is called a Daisy from now on, like our hotel room which got nicknamed “George”. The reasons behind this are still very obscure. Hmm :p.

Unpacking was done rather quickly, and so we went off for a first impression of London. I’m still not sure whether or not it was an advantage that the Virgin Megastore was just around the corner from the hotel but since it’s London and the shop was open, we decided we could as well have a look in there. Of course our little trip there ended in a bad case of fangirling over various dvd’s but since it was only the first day, we decided to wait some more before we bought something.

In the end, of course, we ended up buying quite some stuff (of course). Then again, it’s not our fault- who can withstand the temptation of a *Virgin Megastore* around the corner?

And so we spent our first day in London by walking through the streets and making plans for the following days. And of course we couldn’t call it an early night. There was way too much to talk about. *g*

Well, anyway, we went through there. Suddenly we came to a rather dark corner where someone announced a thing called “Mass murderers on the loose”. And of course we were … stupid enough to actually pay the extra 2,50 GBP to enter. We were told that there were live actors who would come close but not actually touch us. Hm, wish they’d told them too. :-P The whole experience turned out to be a dark narrow hallway with lots of corners and niches where some ew guys stood. Wouldn’t have been a problem if they had just stood there, but no… They came really close and yelled at you. Of course Lies and I tried not to look scared. Lies actually told one guy that he looked like Shrek. *g* He wasn’t impressed but came within about half an inch to Lies’ face and yelled. Which made her tell him that she’s a minor and would sue. Again, no effect on the guy. Should have told him that he had dirt on his nose but actually I was too scared. *g*

They actually harassed the poor tip of my nose and Rikki’s toe. Psht. I am a minor! I sue!

But we survived – apparently – and so went on in the exhibition. The usual “History of London” thing followed as well as something called “Journey to Infinity” which was about our milky way and the universe in general. We waited for the starship Voyager to show up but of course it didn't. ;-)

So we also saw Sherlock’s bedroom and some more rooms in the house. Some of them were decorated with scenes from crimes which he had solved. Oh, and we saw his bathroom. Ok, random information…

… but it was an experience that needed to be shared ;).

Walking back to the hotel turned out to be another adventure. After a stop at the Disney Store in Oxford Street where Lies was turned into a 2-year-old (she bought an Eeyore bottle thinger) we made another stop at Marks & Spencer’s. Nothing adventurous so far but walking a bit further down the road we met a girl who gave out vouchers for free drinks at another Marks & Spencer’s shop. Of course we went there… First problem was that there were way too many people to get the free drink and second problem… well, let’s just say we got a bit confused which direction to take for the hotel. Only found out when we ended up at Marble Arch… the opposite direction of where we had meant to go. *sigh* But we made it back eventually.

I think it was also here that I actually corrupted Rikki enough to get her to buy a book with those nice Japanese number puzzles- Sudokus. This ended up becoming our favourite intellectual pastime at random times. We even ended up getting semi-good at it. Well, when we got past the stage of “Let’s change the pre-typed number!” of course ;)…

Last lesson of the day for Lies was not to eat candy in bed… Sugar burns when you get it in the eyes… :-P

Was a bit tricky to get her out of there again. ;-) But though I was looking for it desperately, I just couldn’t find Newton’s grave. Should have been there, according to every brochure and of course according to The Da Vinci Code but alas…

Ah! Elizabeth! Mary! I am still fangirling, really. Such a pity about Newton’s grave though. Rikki developed a bit of a Newton-obsession ;). Still, I think this is a sign that it’s our moral duty to go back to look for it once :p.

Afterwards we actually wanted to make a sightseeing tour through London with Duck Tours. They have these amphibian cars, start out going through London in the streets and then on the Thames.

Duck Tours Car

But after seeing the prices (17, 50 GBP per person) we backed away slowly and decided to walk along the Thames towards Tower Bridge.

On our way there we passed by Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, so we tried to get a glimpse inside. A guy who pretended not to be rude actually asked for our tickets. *gasp* Only then we were told that there was an afternoon performance there, and so only ticket holders were allowed in. Really a pity but at least we were there.

Lies at Globe Theatre

My God, did I fangirl that ice cream! I’m going to send serious complaints to the city council of Aalst about the obviously horrible lack of a Häagen-Dasz ice cream shop. Hmph.

Lies and her ice cream *g*

Since we were already there, we had to go to the Tower too. The ticket prices were once more rather depressing, but at least I was clever enough to ask for a students’ discount this time. And they miraculously accepted my students’ passport. *yay* Lies had to pay the full price, she didn’t dare to say that she was only 15. :-P So in we went, and Lies went zoof over her beloved Tudors.

After visiting the Crown Jewels and practically everything else we decided it was time to start our walk back to the hotel. Ok, we didn’t really make it there, at St Paul’s Cathedral we gave up and took the bus. But it was one hell of a walk, and I think we walked for about 7 hours that day.

Goodness, even reading this line makes my feet hurt again.

So back in the hotel we thought we could have another look around the area. Just behind the hotel there’s a theatre, and – surprise – Ewan McGregor played there. First thought was *Autographs!* but alas… woe was ours. There was a huge sign at the stage door saying that there wouldn’t be autograph signings at the stage door anymore because of the terrorist attacks. Really a shame and a pity for us but probably understandable with a Hollywood guy among the actors.

17 August 2005 – Day 4 in London

Yes well, corrupted for life, I fear. But then again I believe no experience in the world can possibly be more corrupting than Maggie recounting an experience about being poked in the shoulder by a peepee with a bracelet on it, on stage. Goodbye, innocence. Welcome, weird bracelet fetish.

On our way back to the hotel we went through Kensington. Unfortunately, we didn’t find any thatish people. Woe was ours once more. *sniff*

Lies in Kensington

Theatre was also apparently the only spot in London with an actually *cool* temperature. Which was a whole new experience after the tropical heat of George- I mean, of our hotel room.

Oh, right, and I forgot to mention that we actually found St Mungo's somewhere in Kensington. *g* The famous wizard hospital... Who knew? ;-)

Me in front of St Mungo's *g*

18 August 2005 – Day 5 in London

The day turned out to be another day with a lot of walking but it was sunny and warm, so it was actually fun strolling through the streets of London. So after breakfast we left the hotel in direction of St Paul’s and Temple Church but before we arrived there, we passed by the National Portrait Gallery. So in we went, though again we weren’t lucky and didn’t find any thatish people. Hm, they really seemed to avoid us. :-P

The Tudors, on the other hand ;)…

Afterwards we headed to Temple Church. Having both read The Da Vinci Code we were, of course, curious about it. And we were lucky. On the doors there were signs saying that a recording was just taking place but that the church would be open for visitors from 2pm. Since it was just a couple of minutes to 2, we waited. And of course, reading the signs, our imagination went in overdrive.

Graves of knights inside Temple Church

We already imagined meeting three-quarter-thatish people like Ian McKellen…

But alas, unlucky again. The Da Vinci Code is being filmed at the moment, so we thought that this might be the mentioned recording but either the film crew had gone into hiding or we were too late or it was something completely different… Suffice to say that we didn’t meet anyone interesting. *sigh* But the church itself was quite interesting and just as described in the book.

It is so fascinating that I shall definitely try to share this view with one of my religion teachers. I already introduced the “God is a cube with ears and a question mark”-theory to them in the past, so they cannot be *that* shocked.

It wasn’t that late when we returned from St Paul’s, so we decided to visit the Theatre Museum too. It’s not too far away from the hotel, so practically on our way back there anyway. Funnily enough we didn’t come across any of our ladies, no Maggie mentioned, no Julie Walters. At least there was a poster of My Fair Lady starring Julie Andrews but still… Was rather disappointing. *sniff* But the museum itself is rather cool and definitely worth a visit.

Today was the first day where the weather was a bit disappointing. But since we had decided to visit the British Museum anyway, it wasn’t a problem. Ok, the way to the British Museum was rather adventurous. Using an umbrella in a crowded street isn’t that easy and of course a police car had to go through a puddle and splash water on me. *grrr*

Although, dear, at least you had your famous Hobbit-cape ;)…

Well, anyway, we arrived in the museum more or less dry. Somehow we had imagined that the museum would cover the history of Britain… but it turned out that it covered everything except Britain. Weird. *g* But it was still rather interesting; and after seeing exhibitions about the Romans, the Greek, the Egyptians, Asia and Africa we ended up in the museum shop.

Lies with some bearded guy at British Museum

Of course there were books about the Tudors sold, so Lies went zoof again. And… she bought a badge saying “I Love My Mummy”… I’m still not sure whether or not I’m insulted. *cough*

To the innocent reader: this badge is really cute. To Rikki: thou shalt not be insulted :p.

On our way back to the hotel it was still raining. But while wandering through Charing Cross Road we found that shiny book shop back. The one I’d been looking for a couple of days earlier. Turned out that it was on the other side of the road now. *whoops* :-P Well, needless to say that we bought something.

Somewhere near the hotel we saw another guy with a white shirt with Chinese writing on it… So our little stalker guy had lied to us about his shirt. *sniff* :-D Ah, well, anyway… Actually we didn’t really have much left to do but at Trocadero Centre there was a Titanic exhibition, so we decided to visit that one too. Was quite good actually. Prices were ok too. Ok, I had my students’ passport and we lied about Lies’ age… She’s 15 now. :-P

I’m sure that I’ll love looking younger in twenty years. Just not yet :p. Especially when the guy in the Virgin Megastore asked me for some ID to prove I was over 15 when I purchased a DVD…

In the evening we went to the famous Sound of Music Sing-Along. God, we felt so normal for once. *g* When we approached the theatre, there were people dressed up as nuns in front of it. Scared us a bit but we were brave and went in. Turned out that there were more people in fancy dresses, like brown paper packages, deer and the sun; but there was, of course, a logical explanation to everything. Before the movie started, we had a fancy dress competition. And we still felt rather normal. *g* But seeing the movie with so many freaks turned out to be fun. And Lies, rather unexpectedly, yelled ‘Click your heels thrice and go fuck yourself’ at one of the German guys in the movie… God, she nearly gave me a heart attack. *g*

Hey, if one can’t even yell that to those evil Nazis anymore :p. And dear, it didn’t look so much like a heart attack than like an imploding lung. Shivers.

20 August 2005 – Day 7 in London

I have to admit we were rather lazy today but that was probably due to the fact that we had been far too quick for our own good. There wasn’t much left to see for today. But we still found something, so after breakfast we were off to visit the Museum of London. Weather was nice again today, or at least it wasn’t raining. The museum was really cool, though Lies was disappointed again – the Tudor section is currently rebuilt and will be re-opened in autumn 2005. Really a pity. But the shop was nice again. *g* I sooo wanted to buy one of these feather quills but it wouldn’t have survived the flight home (knowing how they handle luggage at the airport), so I didn’t buy one. *sniff*

She did grab the chance to buy two candy stick thingers, though. They would have survived, too, if I had not accidentally sat down on them. Shame on me. I think it’s this day, too, that I decided to buy a giant, red lollipop and went into toddler-mode with a mouth covered in red sugary stuff. My hankie is still pink.

Lies and her lollipop *g*

So our last day in London went by. In the evening we went to one of these nice accessories shops, and Lies just had to buy one of these pairs of ‘Best Friends’ badges. I’m now labelled ‘Be Frie’ (which Lies translated into Belgian Fries) while she’s ST NDS – which made her say that she feels like an illegal drug. *g*

Said badges, even though probably mostly worn by five-year olds, are really adorable nonetheless :p.

When we got back to the hotel and wanted to get ready for bed, I found out that my pj’s had been abducted. I guess the room maid accidentally took them… Poor pj’s. *sniff* Still haven’t got them back.

Today was rather sad. We had to say goodbye to London (which was bad enough) and to each other (which was much worse). I brought Lies to Waterloo Station where she caught the Eurostar to Brussels. God, we really had an international crying session there. *sniff* But then I had to go and try to find the bus stop where I could catch the bus to Liverpool Street Station. Wasn’t that easy but during my search I actually found the Old Vic. Ok, I know, it’s rather random but Kevin Spacey plays there at the moment. *g* So I took the bus, got on the train to Stansted Airport and then on the plane back to Berlin.

Okay, so this *was* really sad.  I kept on sniffing for at least fifteen minutes afterwards and had people giving me total aaaw-looks. Wiped off my eyes with my (still pink :p) hankie but managed to find the right train nonetheless. But sniff. Sniff sniff sniff.

Lies arrived at home and back in the normal world at 6pm. I was back home at 9:30pm.

All in all I really had a wonderful time in London, and I miss both Lies and London very much. All the madness we produced in just 8 days… *sniggers*

Hm, yes, it was rather spectacular, actually. Either we are very creative, or just two raving madwomen… hmmm ;). Anyways, London was an uber-great week, we had tons of fun and I miss Rikki & London to very small pieces. Microscopic pieces, as a matter of fact.

Annotations to the title of the report:

Queen Cow… Hm, I don’t really know anymore how we came up with her but at Lies’ place my bed linen looked like a cow. Sometime that evening we crowned the cow. *g*

I’m thinking… it started with something about Rikki sleeping under a cow (a cow bedsheet, you corrupted minds!)… and then something about a King of Prussia… so then the cow turned into the Queen of Prussia… I think it was because a “Querflöte” is supposed to be called Prussian Flute in English… hmm, and the cow was very multi-talented. Especially at leather production. Rikki, I think we should hide now :p.

Shagging Shakespeare… Actually I was trying to say something about a second Shakespeare but after laughing too hard I said something like shecond Shakespeare… which turned then into shagging Shakespeare, of course. :-P

Ishn’t it fantashtic to have such a nishe pronounshiation :p?

Crown Jewels… Yeah, well, Crown Jewels are… Crown Jewels, I guess. ;-)

Oh, and the blue stuff was written by Lies, as you might have guessed. ;-)

And just for the sake of it (and because the hotel was directly at Picadilly Circus and therefore near Leicester Square)...

It's a long way to Triperary

It's a long way to go

It's a long way to Triperary

To the sweetest girl I know

Goodbye Picadilly

Farewell Leicester Square

It's a long long way to Triperary

But my heart's right there.

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